I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
