I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
