obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
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