he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
