Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
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