i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
