literally had 100 drinks last night.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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