Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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