OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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