I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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