Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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