fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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