We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
