I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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