The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
