i don't like sucking hair
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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