i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
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