Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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