doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Green mimosas i think yes
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
