my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
