There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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