she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Randomize