did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
