ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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