New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize