Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
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They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Are my feet made of real feet?
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
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"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize