Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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