I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
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