so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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