why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
he shaved USA in his pubs
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
