I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize