I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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