i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
