Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Everyone says I win the strip club
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
