remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
