Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
