If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
