I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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