i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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