Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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