that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
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