I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Randomize
