2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
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