it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
