Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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