You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
