My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
