i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
