lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
false alarm, still single
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
