We're facebook friends in real life
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
