Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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