I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
