so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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