She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
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