Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
