i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
