Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
no, he came in my armpit
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
