Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
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U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
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